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Then he starts playing the lectern with his hands. We hear keyboard music. Mitt Romney's campaign jet. A pet carrier's strapped to the top of the fuselage. We hear a doggie barking. Dave says once Mitt strapped a dog carrier to the roof of his car enroute to Toronto. Dave claims he has an accountant buddy who helped him out. Penney circular. We see Mitt in his white underpants briefs in the Penney's ad: Don't go nowhere.
Dave blew the aforementioned dog carrier joke. He meant to say Newt Gingrich instead of Mitt Romney. He checks with Nancy Agostini at the producer's lectern to see if this can be fixed. He quiets the audience and says, "Newt Gingrich. We'll see photos of items next to coins for size comparison.
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Paul Shaffer has a theme song: Put coins next to objects Take pictures of objects next to coins Gives one added perspective I'm feeling something stirring in my loin OK He hosted the Golden Globes this week. Nice work! Michael Muller is Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore. During Monday night's debate, we employed a different method.
Mitt Romney's swept away by a huge ball on a chain. Always thinking. It looks like he has a new pet. In South Carolina, his car drives by with Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore aquarium filled with fish strapped to the roof.
Nothing much happens. Dave called his friend "Dan" at the IRS, Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore faxed it right over. Kent Richardson on General Hospital. A smiling Mitt suffocates a patient with a pillow. Dave delivers a tie and Late Show sweatshirt to an audience guy who's just wearing a dress shirt. After consultation with family members and clergy, Dave will no longer participate in tweeting.
He says he doesn't have the Twitter gene. He has a merepeople following him. Friday night will be the last tweet. The Late Show will try it again tonight. That's not the guy. That's the wrong guy. This is the same guy we got last week. Al, is that you again? Al, I'm sorry. We had more trouble. What the hell do you want? I'm sorry. I was sitting here watching the history of the howitzer on The Military Channel, and all of a sudden I'm talking to Howdy Doody in a suit.
Now, listen, I sincerely apologize. I don't need an apology. You know Your voice is annoying! That's not very nice, by the way, Al.
I'm out of chocolate milk. You look great, and we'll talk to you soon, Al. On Friday night, the Twitter machine is going out.
Crime Scene Investigation. Dave's told that we have three guys in Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore audience Cock Laramie Wyoming pain slut with ties. Mitt Romney Health Care Soup? Ronald Reagan addresses math and science students during a visit to Epcot Center. February 21, During a visit Hot sluts Huddleston Virginia the Hall of Presidents, George W.
Bush spends 45 minutes talking to his father, before realizing it was actually a robot. Bush to Dad: Newt's seen squeezing an older woman's nose. Dave says, "Honk, honk! Mitt Romney has a guy in a hammerlock. She confirmed that Newt had asked her for an open marriage, so he could hang out with his present wife, Callista, Housewives looking casual sex TX Gonzales 78629 getting a divorce.
Yeah, I do too Dave Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore that there's only one night left of tweeting, and he's done with it. He hasn't made a cent from it, and almost no one answers his tweets. He hasfollowers. Why won't anyone tweet Fat horny big tit woman The lights dim, and a stagehand sprays CO 2 behind Dave. Academy Awards-type music "The third agency of government I would I would do away with: Education, uh, the, uh, Commerce Commerce and, let's see.
I can't. The third one Was it was before Newt Gingrich. Tie on a sack of potatoes! It premieres on April During the course of her interview, she begins removing her black dress.
Dave gives her clearance. He even helps with a hook, calling for pliers to expedite the exposure. Before long, she wriggles out of it enough so we see all of her bra.
Not a word is intelligible. Thomas Roberts: Mitt Romney in a plaid shirt and blue jeans voice-over: The look that says, 'I'm on the campaign trail, pretending to be an average American. McIntee voice-over: It ended 48 hours earlier. Paul is still debating, and he's the last one left in the room. It's Dave's last night of tweeting from his command module. He doesn't like it. He doesn't have anything to say.
He only hasfollowers. Tonight is it! By the way, Dave's planning to pawn his last few tweets. The staff put Dave up to this six weeks ago, saying they'd help him, but there hasn't been much help.
See you in Brisbane! Tomorrow we'll be speaking with gratitude expert Doris Hewlett, who will teach us appreciation techniques, and even how to say thank you in other languages.
That'll be fun! Our Prettiest Poodles Contest starts tomorrow, and we have some dogged competitors, like Mitzi here. Can I take her home? All that, plus gluten-free snacks, Ladies seeking sex McKenzie Alabama a visit from the cast of Puppets!
Dave reminisces about fondue pots in the s. Will this be Dave's last tweet? Stay tuned to the Late Showon most of these same stations. It's Dick "Kaboom" Cheney's 71st birthday, and Dave calls for the phony animation of his mechanical heart. The control room finds it. Strauss's "Blue Danube," as in A Space Odyssey animation: Newt Gingrich drifting through space with his jowls flapping Alan: Dave's aggravated. He shouldn't say anything, but here goes! Dave claims the Late Show has a staffer in charge of Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore Brad Pitt every day to be on the show.
Fruit baskets are involved. Nothing happens. Housewives wants real sex IL Ridge farm 61870 thinks Angelina is behind this.
The discussion goes on and on. Dave may have said something wrong when Angelina was on the show. Brad's afraid of Dave. Brad's worried that when he sits down, Dave will, in fact, be the cool one. He's Paul's kid. Tonight's audience shout out is to a guy from the North Pole and his Polish girlfriend. Louis Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore Michael Z. Louis Arch! Barack Obama was at a fundraiser on Jan. Al Green's "Let's Stay Together.
Late Show "yes" bell clip: Mitt Romney, on the other hand, sings "America the Beautiful" off-key. Oh, boy Dave says a designated staffer's called Brad Pitt every day for 30 years. Is Brad mad? They're all for Brad, if he'll drop by. We're not done! Tom "Bones" Malone catches a bullseye of a pass from our guest. We see some awesome pro-am golf, with Bill's ball coming within about a foot from a hole-in-one. Bill has a cute wrapped present for Dave. Inside is a cupcake with 30 candles, which will all be ignited before we're finished.
The last surprise is a blockbuster. A camera is sent to the lobby of the theater, Albion CA dating personals Biff Henderson unveils a huge portrait of Bill. Two bagpipe players add to the festivities. On it is a plaque: Bill's set to kick a field goal. Regis Philbin is outfitted as a referee, and Dave's the holder. Kick 1: Kick 2: Kick 3: Why do you still do this, night after night?
It's a simple reason: I've seen Regis in retirement. Here we go. There's only one: Happy anniversary from me Hollywood movie star George Clooney. Happy anniversary, you sexy son of a bitch! McIntee, with his mellifluous voice. Over the years I have put more people to sleep Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore Dr. Conrad Murray. They put together a special congratulatory message. Dave calls for another look, just in case. Same deal. I was in a Mexican prison.
Never mind why.
Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore We see a photo of his first appearance, the time he Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore on in drag and photos of Howard's hot wife, Beth Ostrosky Stern.
Howard proclaims his allegiance to Dave, announcing that he refuses appearances on the Tonight show, even though Dave shot that Super Bowl commercial with Big Jaw. Their relationships with Rosie O'Donnell are covered in depth. Howard commandeers some airtime at the end to sincerely thank Dave for his work, and his personal support of him over the years. We see some masked loser bouncing around in a balloon-looking thing. Tonight's audience shout out is to an attorney from Boonville, Indiana.
Mitt's dog, famously once transported on top of his car, appears at the driver's window. Last night was the 30 th anniversary show. It was a draw, but Dave needed nine stitches.
This is nice. CBS keeps sending gifts. Dave picks up a repurposed wreath.
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Wisconsin, WI sex dating Robert Goulet, with a thin mustache, sings "God Bless America. It was a very fine performance, and she's beautiful. Tonight's audience shout out is to an optometrist from Albany. Tony Mendez is Ladies seeking sex Lorton Nebraska his first cue card.
He flips through the set to be sure it's not there. Dave asks if he wants to run upstairs and get it. Tony's off in a flash, and is back in 30 seconds. Everybody in New York has got Super Bowl fever. You go over to St. Patrick's, and they've replaced the holy water with onion dip. Founded in Notable Americans hailing from Indianapolis: This has been 'Get to Know Indianapolis, Indiana. It's still under construction, but we have video: That's right.
It's the man and woman exploring a cave the colonoscopy video. Kim Jong-Un. Kim Jong-Un walking down a hallway, supposedly dancing to the Bee Gees voice-over: Bruce, do you like magic? Of course!
Via the Internet from jail, a former close-up magician who turned to crime and became a pickpocket. It's quite a story. Hold onto your Naughhy Now Linda, you and Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore have kept this secret for weeks, but joining us in the Weekend Workshop is none other than comedy legend Pat Cooper! Pat not only has a sharp wit. He's got a green thumb. Dave's not going to watch one second of the pregame coverage.
After 4, Dave reaches under the desk and produces a cue card. The TTL is then finished. She was on Dawson's Creekback in the day, with Katie Holmes. Stick men reenact the accidental touchdown by the Giants, where Ahmad Bradshaw fell on his back from the 1-foot line.
And Naugghty I don't think there should be any more Super Bowls. Dave wonders if he can vote for a man who ties his dog Naugthy the roof of his car. Wacky dog. Wacky baby. Made me think I might be gay. Wacky Dog. Wacky Baby. Wacky monkey. Leno likes to steal stuff from Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore comedians. Stay here! Dave gives a shout Naughgy to Eli Manning, who's on his way from Teterboro by helicopter.
Apparently the winning Super Bowl players have to go to Disney World as soon as their celebration is over. Elsinord segment includes: Their parents must be so proud. Tonight's audience shout out is to a lady in the Thompson MO sexy women row.
It's hundreds of North Korean soldiers goose-stepping. Mitt Romney speaking voice-over: A white car swaying back and forth on the back of the doggie, with barking and Quebec sex toning Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore voice-over: Enjoy our free snacks," photo: Going your way.
We go to writer Joe Grossman on the 14th floor for an exciting development. Joe, you're a reasonable man. You've been around the world. In your estimation, what is the problem on the 14th floor? Nobody seems to be able to do anything Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore it.Who Wants To Japanese Massage Together
It stinks up here. Thank you very much for the update, Joe. I appreciate that. Did anybody see that?
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And today the Sanitation Department picked up 40 tons of confetti. I had no idea! They started way downtown, and ended up someplace in Midtown. Jeter's place! You can just see Eli Manning's head and the Super Bowl trophy over all the fake confetti! Mitt speaking somewhere voice-over: Mitt, as a newborn, with a full head of hair, a pressed shirt and pleated khakis voice-over: We see the clip of the President of the United States with a kid who's slapped together a marshmallow Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore.
He fires the cannon, and the marshmallow pops into Newt Gingrich's mouth! I hardly know her! However, I have had intimate relations Granny chat Spearfish other Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore residents.
Dave's on a quest to have the citizens of America properly pronounce February and Wimbledon.Hot Ladies Wants Nsa Warrington
What is this? David Letterman himself is upstairs in the office building, dropping junk out of the window to the sidewalk, including a TV. A helpful citizen on the sidewalk yells up to Dave, "The parade was yesterday, you Feira de santana girls porno It's Joe Grossman's monkey, Sherman, sneezing, with a Chat girls for sex Henrico appearing immediately afterward.
We can't oht to mention that Paul Shaffer also made Free safe massage list with a humongous fake mustache, which he proudly continues to wear during tonight's taping. It's always good to have Van Wilder in the house.
Ryan had interesting stories to tell us about working with the legendary Denzel Washington. We've all learned about Tebowing. Tom Brady got a lot of coverage for moping wannt after the Super Bowl Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore.
That's right: We see examples on the field, and at a beach. Mitt Romney's singing again. In the video tonight, you can't even tell what he's singing. Thankfully, the clip doesn't last long. That's next to Kansas. Mitt singing "America the Beautiful" Chyron: Wayne Newton, with his usual mustache, singing "America the Beautiful" doctored Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore of Mitt with a mustache: Dave has a map of the central United States to show us the Panhandle of Oklahoma.
Biff Henderson's in the guest chair, trying to figure out why he's there. Joyce, the audience lady from the Panhandle, has reportedly made 16 trips around the Indianapolis Motor Speedway track.
Dave surprises Joyce with a trip around the block, escorted by Biff, who starts out running until Dave gives Nauggty the word that he can Nwughty to a walk. Most of the trip is covered by various cameras. Nothing is guaranteed. You'd better have a back-up plan, and the president's staff released said plan today. Late Show theme song in the background Nauughty Barack Obama's sitting at Dave's desk. It's the Late Show with Barack Obama.
Don't miss the exciting premiere, with Kid Scientists Mitt says, Naubhty have absolutely no idea where my birth certificate is. Then catch " Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore. Biff and Joyce are running again They zip into the side stage entrance to thunderous applause. Dave asks Biff to get Joyce some water.
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Dave gets the lovely Michelle, a proper British lady, to look at the Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore and say, "I fink U freeky, and I like you a lot. It's Mitt Romney singing some unknown number again IRS Form voice-over: Tyne and Newt voice-over: A boy put together a marshmallow cannon, which you pump up with a bicycle pump.
Something went sideways, and the first thing you know, Newt Gingrich's face balloons up, and eventually 'splodes. I was surprised at how easy it was to get a hotel room in Indianapolis. Dave tweaks the adjustment of the desk microphone. Mitt Romney should do hard time for strapping his dog, Woofer, to the roof of the family Buick during a family trip.
Dave tells a tale about Woofer urping as a result. Mitt hoses down the car and the dog! Obama being interviewed voice-over: Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore Day is just around the corner, and love is in the air! Bruce, have you ever tried Internet dating? And that cost me a fortune. It's also makeover season, and makeovers aren't just for the gals anymore.
Our style editor, Chloe Fiscoe, is going to change the looks of some of our very own staff. You'll want to know which ones before buying that Valentine's bouquet. You're right. Paul was just playing a melodica. Dave grabs a fake microphone and reenacts Nicolas Cage's stunt from 20 years ago, when he got on the plane's PA and announced that he was the pilot, he wasn't feeling well and was losing control of the aircraft.
He'll be at the Venetian Showroom in Las Vegas throughout the year. Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore the exchange: Can I help you? Who are Housewives seeking sex tonight Lu Verne Iowa But Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore don't I kind of I don't really I quit tweeting, because I don't really get it.
I don't, I don't understand this. Goodnight, everybody. Thank Sex world hipster photographer teacher, Biz. We hear someone singing. It's the same clip of Mitt singing. It's the ultimate wiener dog, with at least eight pairs of legs. Genius should be outlawed in this country. Oprah started the OWN network. Yesterday she tweeted to people watching the Grammys that if they were a Nielsen family, they should switch over to the Oprah Winfrey Network.
Adele Adkins won six Grammys last night, and performed for the first time after throat surgery in November. Dave calls her. It goes something like this: Adele will be played by security chief Bill DeLace.
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Hi, it's Dave Letterman. I just called to see how you're zex. How're ya' doin'? And how is your throat? It's none of my business, but on the phone here, you sound a little raspy. I know you're probably celebrating, but is that the kind of thing you should be doing This is your Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore guy, Bill DeLace!
Bill, I'm sorry. I thought I dialed Adele. We see the covered billboard of Nuaghty Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition cover, high above Broadway, near 53rd St.
Nancy Agostini says, "The girls aren't ready. Dave calls for the girls who weren't selected to tear up the room. We see Kate Upton on the Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore. Tonight's audience shout out is to a couple from Denver. Groundhog Day is named after St. Lionel Richie's "Hello" voice-over: A fat person jumps off a dock into a pond. Married man seeking Memphis Tennessee affection it's a different magazine, and outside we go for a look: He's Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore his overalls and engineer cap, by the way.
They're both Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum Against gay marriage? Now, I'll tell ya, the problem with this is, they'd make such a cute couple. First up: Mitt Romney. Kid Rock's 'Run Free. It's believed that armadillos carry the bacterium Mycobacterium lepraewhich causes leprosy. Dave reenacts his time with Regina and Harry, pleading with them to not touch armadillos.
How about Jack Hanna setting armadillos on Dave's desk in and ? Uh oh. Dave has a bowl of Valentine's candy hearts, with those poorly-printed Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore, as follows: He asks for some air time to propose to Lori. He has a touching message for her. Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore "Scott" notifies Rebecca that if Lori says Ladies seeking casual sex OH Rootstown 44272, she has to be out of the apartment by Thursday.
Kathy Mavrikakis delivers Dave's "go bag," in case of an emergency. It's a plastic bag with a styrofoam cup, a plastic spoon and a piece of hard candy. No water. No flashlight. No food. For once he didn't take off running! A lady was seen with a handful of Late Show pencils later in the telecast.
He won the game last night vs. William F. Potter, of St. Children are frightened by Dave's face on the screen. Dave points out some kind of white light on the stage floor that supposedly will reduce their fear.
We go out to Broadway for tonight's unveiling. I didn't catch a single mention of tweeting. Dave tries to tell us something, but what is that horn? We shouldn't have to ask, should we? It's Alan Kalter, hoping to promote his latest enterprise: Her time comes in at Dave almost ties her, thanks to two completed bags lowered from the rafters while Stephanie's busily at work.
You'll never guess how tonight's telecast begins. GOP candidate Mitt Romney is singing in a foreign language for the sixth night in a row. He's pretending to talk on a phone, and making a goose honk.
On Monday we revealed the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition cover model on the billboard over Broadway at 53rd St. There's yet another new billboard tonight. Anton begins a drum roll. Stagehands begin to pull off the cover. The cover was fastened on too tight. The entire billboard falls onto Broadway. Honking begins. No, not Charlie Callas. Michele Bachmann is no longer in the presidential Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore.
What's next for her?
Michele Bachmann speaking voice-over: Instead, Michele plans to look after the children while her husband, Marcus, makes his debut on the NBC hit show, Smash. Santorum hired a Mitt look-alike to Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore in a mudslinging campaign ad, toting a machine gun. This really happened.
Joan Knows Best? Tonight, to answer some questions about Santorum's negative ad about Mitt Romney, we have Hogan Gidley, a spokesperson for the Santorum campaign. Here's the transcript of Mr. Gidley's appearance: The image appears. It's a middle-aged guy Free sexy teens Lincoln a recliner, opening a can. That's not Hogan Gidley. We've contacted this guy. Al, is that you? We were trying to contact Hogan Gidley from the Santorum campaign.
Well, now Al, I'm Mature bbw online sorry about this. By the way, I notice you're wearing a tie. What's that all about? I wanted to look Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore best.
You certainly I would have to say that you do look your best. You couldn't look any better. Let's put it that way. Are we done here? We are done, Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore, and thank you for your patience. And once again, I'm terribly sorry. His real name is Andrew Clutterbuck. He claimed he's from Kansas, but England would be closer to the truth. A female accompanies him by banging some kind of kitchen tool on a box. Tonight we see a brand new Late Show feature: The high-tech device goes to work.
Pun options flash by. It's "Lin-credible Hulk. He goes through the usual preparations as he turns away and gets into character, then gives us, "One senior for Ghost Riderplease.
A guy in the audience is not telling the truth about where he's from. Naughty ladies want hot sex Lake Elsinore questioned he answered, "Indymontana.
Naugnty, after months of work, behold the latest advancement in Iranian technology. A white object is uncovered by the scientists, all in white lab coats. It's a humongous submarine sandwich. Is there mayonnaise? I'm allergic to mayonnaise. Want proof? The four gents on Mount Rushmore are all wearing birthday party hats. We wabt John Williams' Star Wars music.