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Recently, much to my confused delight, I found myself perched on a washing machine being energetically fingered by a human male. This was an interesting and enthusiastically consented-to state of affairs, oopen least of all because. Even more interesting: Sharing time! To the smart-asses noting that I prefer talking about sex to, you know, having Sex woman fuck on open string Sexuality is discursive, bitches. We live in a culture that dichotomizes intimacy.

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A politics of purity — a straight, white, cisgender politics of respectability — often characterizes the former kind of sex. The latter kind of sex is best summarized with the term no strings attached.

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There is an acronym for no strings attached source: Urban Dictionaryand even a movie source: Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. But the main idea is this: People should be able to have sex with each other without having to be in a formal romantic relationship, without having to be sexually exclusive, without Germantown women fuck to be emotionally intimate, and without having to be friends.

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This is silly because we are human beings, and have relationships and feelings about literally everyone. The lady on the bus.

Our fathers. Lots of feelings about our fathers.

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And this is dangerous because sometimes we interpret a lack of romantic obligation to one another as a lack of any ethical obligation at all. This is where shit gets shady. Because ethical sex can be hard. It requires communication. It requires consideration.

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It requires always and every single time, you guys consent. I think feminism is a little to blame.

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For a long time, and still today, feminists of all kinds have been fighting to destigmatize our sexual decisions. We work against cultural standards that say our bodies — and particularly female, queer, trans, disabled, poor, Swx of color bodies — are bad, that sex is dirty, and that people who have sex especially queer sex or sex for money are evil, dirty skanks.

All too often, this message is interpreted not to mean that our sexualities should be destigmatized, but that sex itself is amoral. That sex is some kind of carnival where the rules of normal life are suspended, where human feelings turn off, and where respect is suddenly Not a Thing.

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No strings attached sex is not a thing because we are always, all the time, surrounded by strings. And some of us? Some of us are all tied up. Spoiler womam No strings attached is impossible, because society is made of strings.

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Our ties to each other and to our cultures define who we are. We are connected by the society we share, and we are connected by our experience with each other.

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For a lot of us, the social expectations that bond us together can be limiting. If we are Sex woman fuck on open string in some way, we can be choked by harmful Women seeking hot sex Deerbrook about who we are, stigmas about our behavior, and material limitations on our mobility and resources.

And sex itself is a tangled, tangled nest of strings: Of messy, unavoidably human, emotional bonds.

Of weird myths and stereotypes and discomforts. As humans with human feelings living in a human culture, sex is always-already dictated by these stories, and part of human bonds. For those of us already tangled up in harmful notions of who and what we are, sex is extra risky.

If we are marginalized in some way, when we have sex, we risk being gossiped about, or pregnant fuc Sex woman fuck on open string for getting an abortion, or pregnant with no access to abortion and no money to support our kids, or raped, or racially stereotyped, or discriminated against for our queerness, or deemed damaged goods.

We live in a culture, in communities, with other humans. There are always, always strings.

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In the best oepn scenario, sex — even one-off sexual encounters with sweet randos in unconventional places — is about connection. Reina Gattuso is passionate about empowering conversations around queerness, sexual ethics, and social movements with equal parts rhapsody and sass.

Her writing has appeared at Time, Bitch, attn: She is currently pursuing her masters. Feministing is a labor of love and all our staff have other full-time jobs to support their work on the site.

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Your donation is much appreciated, and much needed. Many millennials plan to have fewer children than they want.

Childcare costs have skyrocketed by percent in the last 25 years. In urban areas, it can be even worse.

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Parents in Washington, D. What about the pill?

Easy, peasy, preventing pregnancy. The gynecologist tells Men Sec not try to have sex with you if they read you calling yourself a lesbian in print.

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The creepy ones will! The topic of the hour: No strings attached sex. But they can also stifle us.

Instead, we parted ways, the air between us glistening with strings. Reina Gattuso Reina Gattuso. We need your help! Donate Now. Join the Conversation.